I Wonder

I have wondered if I should write this post but this has been weighing on my mind a lot lately so I thought I would go ahead and do it.
As most of you know, we lost a baby boy in December of 2007. I realized the other day that our baby would be 18 months old now and I began to wonder several things. One, did God take our baby so that my Mom could live? Did he take our baby because he knew that I would be helping my Mom and that it would be difficult to have a baby that young and having to be gone? What about the baby that we lost in March of this year? My due date was in October. . .did he take the baby so that my Mom wouldn't miss being there to see the baby when it was born? Or again so that I would be able to give my full attention to my Mom? Somedays I really wish that I could have an answer as to the why so I will have an idea about what the future may hold. I pray for children, I want so badly to be a Mom. Will I ever have that chance?

I am with my Mom this week and forgot to bring my Bible study book that I started during the summer. Does anyone know of a good on-line Bible study?

I finally got my outside Halloween decorations plugged in and the timer set to turn them on. Hopefully they all work. I was so excited about decorating for Halloween but I ended up hardly doing anything.

Well, that is it for tonight. Sorry for having such a gloomy post. Sometimes that is just where my brain goes.

I hope you all have a good week.